A Respite from the Concrete Jungle

I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.  ~John Muir

It’s another rambling mood for me tonight.

Yesterday, as I went with the roommates to the doggies’ agility class, I got an unexpected break from my suburban cement jungle and took a meandering trip down a two-lane country road. It was a perfect time of day, right before sunset when the sun trades in its brilliant sparkle for a warm golden gleam. Weaving and winding our way along this bush-lined, overgrown road, we let the windows down and a rare, cool summer breeze swirled through the car. In the backseat, I raced the dogs to a window and leaned my head out, inhaling the sweetness of the fresh air. Each mile brought with it a new scent; pure wild honeysuckle, a pine-scented bush, faint hints of horse pasture, lilacs, yesterday’s rain and the thirsty earth.

Immediately, all my awareness and worry eased, the day’s problems melted away and I was left with the bittersweet contentment I always experience when confronted with Nature’s beauty.  With Bailey, a Lab mix, standing mouth open and wriggling excitedly on my lap, I leaned my head against the car door and watched the countryside unfold lazily in front of me. Houses and farms, separated by at least 3 acres apiece, were each unique, representing every style under the sun. Some were outlandish and loud, others quaint and cottage-like; one a a log cabin, another a single-story ranch home with a well-loved tire swing out in an ancient, friendly tree – they all felt like home. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny with large clouds that provided just enough shadow to hide away in, ensuring that you could feel the tiny breathless wisps of refreshing air.

The surrounding area was filled with gently rolling plains and dotted with thick, dark green splashes of tall trees. The occasional pine dropped a carpet of yellowed needles all around and my feet itched to leave the SUV behind, exploring every inch of the land until I fell asleep under the stars, exhausted but sated.

I do find myself in Nature. The constantly spinning thoughts in my head slow down to a more manageable speed and I breathe in deep and slow. The ache of loss is eased, the worry from work is forgotten and the fears for the future are set aside. For that moment in time, serenaded by the welcome warped whistle of the locusts, the repetitive buzz of crickets and the random burp of hidden frogs, I let go and loose myself to the universe.

The bittersweet part comes in because I can’t help but recognize my infinitesimal and fleeting role in the world. The sunset is so beautiful it is arouses my soul, bringing with it a familiar ache. I at once remember all the people I’ve said goodbye to and the people I’m grateful to still have.

Last night’s sunset was wondrous to watch. Out there, away from the lights of the city and blanketed only by wide open Texas skies, I stood quietly in awe as the dark, vibrant colors lit up the sky. Royal purple and blue layered neatly over a shocking pink and mild yellow. They all fought the encroaching black in a valiant but futile display.  Finally, the last bit of dark blue was swallowed up in the night and the stars winked their tentative hellos. The clouds dispersed and left the sky stunningly clear for the full moon to shine in all its glory.

I realized then that I was where I truly belonged. One of these days, someway, somehow, I must find my way to my own quaint country home, complete with a wraparound porch, a giant, old tree and sun tea in a cracked glass pitcher on the deck. On that porch, I’ll watch the sun climb down the sky and wave as the world passes me by, leaving me with a peaceful, if still thoughtful mind.

On another note, I think I’m going to have to start a category for my nature posts. If you’ve followed my blog for any length of time, you’ve probably seen them. I’m going back through them and it gets pretty extensive. Let’s see, Saying Goodbye is one, and this one, Life is Chess ….another, Captured Moments and Tours of Duty. There are more but you get the idea.

Nature is an infinite sphere of which the center is everywhere and the circumference nowhere. -Blaise Pascal