I can see a field from the patio of my new apartment. It’s surrounded by fresh housing developments and distant countryside, but it’s there. I know it won’t be there for long, but it still makes me smile.

I wish I had time to write and think right now. In the few brief moments between Job Number One and Job Number Two today, I have time for a few things. I have time to eat. I have time to shower. I have time to watch a cooking show. But I do not have time to write. Documented introspection is a luxury that I can’t often afford.

I made a decision to change my life last week. It’s one I always wanted to make, but spent most of my time finding reasons why it was impossible. I’m certain it was my debilitating fear of failure leading the way during those excuses. Someone casually made me see it was not only possible, it was urgent. I’m going to go to college. I’m going now, while I still have enough of my twenties left to graduate in my early thirties. It’s like the clouds that surrounded me for years vanished and suddenly sunlight burst through, with a few simple words of advice.

I’m excited. I know what I’m going to do now. The exact when and what are as yet still blank pages, but I know no longer feel worried about how I am going to fill them in. The only important thing right now is that I know I am going to. I’m through wasting my intelligence on the lower rungs retail management and the random health care positions.

I have a direction. And more importantly, I finally have the drive.

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